Welcome to the Sisterhood of Motherhood
The title today feels like we are initiating you into a secret club in a secret club, yes it’s a club where we drink tea and have cookies and ogle over cute faces and live happily ever after, no really seriously. Welcome to motherhood.
So here are the rules of engagement
You will learn to love like never before, if you think you loved your spouse or parents, you will understand that that was just a fraction of what it feels like to love, no it doesn’t take away from loving other people around you but it consumes you whole. If anything happens to him you will feel your pelvic bone tighten, just embrace the love.
You will learn patience; no really you will learn PATIENCE. Nothing puts you on the edge like a resilient child, from leaving the house to showers to feeding to changing diaper. What you think is common human sense like, don’t jump off the table you will get hurt, you realise it’s not common.
Your conversation will change, you thought you were full of yourselves when you met with your friends and could not stop talking about yourself, now you will not stop talking about your child. What they look like when they wake up, what they have learnt, what they did last night.
You will encounter two distinct sides of motherhood that are portrayed by different people. One is kisses, cuddles, happiness, joy, laughter nothing but pure bliss when it comes to motherhood. The other dirty diaper, sleep deprivation, extreme weight gain, smell of milk all the time, still in PJs at 3pm, hair last done no body can remember. Those 2 are true but they do not define us and you can have a perfect balance of motherhood without having to lose yourself. The road is not all smooth but it is well worth taking.
You will learn that every child is different, even though you get twins; they are two separate humans whom you will need to understand at their own level. Just because it works with Juanna, it will not necessarily work with Lisa. The temptation to compare will be there but DO NOT DO IT. Love them at their own level and space and urge them to always give their best, it’s the best you can do.
You are the leader of the relationship; don’t let a small human that knows so little set rules for you. It sounds easier said than done. Because of their volatility, you will be tempted to give in to their demands. E.g soon after feeding, they will cry as if they want to feed and you will put them back on the breast and they will indeed feed, however as the leader you need to realise that indigestion will cause colic and so after feeding you need to give them time to digest the food and not soothe with the breast, just an example.
Many sister will come around you and want to teach you the art of motherhood, listen to them, they mean well. However, be sure to remember that the buck stops with you and you know what is best for your child. Example, I remember when my son was 4 weeks, some ladies came to braid my hair at home and they asked for me to put my son on his tummy so he could sleep for longer, my son had been sleeping for max 45 minutes and so I though this women will be here for 2 hours it will not hurt, so in the Moses basket next to me, I put my son to sleep on his tummy, he slept through my hair being braided I had to wake him up. There is other advice though that I heard and disregarded because I knew it would work with my baby.
This is a lifetime responsibility, no matter how old they grow, they will never cease you be your baby. Do the best you can, teach them, prepare them for life, do the world a favour and channel out a seasoned hero ready to change the world for the better. Enjoy.
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