Our Difference is Our Strength

 



Multi-ethnic mothers holding baby girls (7-8 months).  Focus on African American woman (20s).

Multi-ethnic mothers holding baby girls (7-8 months).

“ I don’t share my thoughts because I think it will change the minds of people who think differently. I share my thoughts to show the people who already think like me that they are not alone.” I remember reading this quote and thinking to myself, that is what I have been trying to put in words, just didn’t know how to. It was made in relation to the #womensmarch but isn’t it true about every aspect of our lives?

I am very happy to say that I have a schedule for my children, they have a set time to eat, a set time to sleep and all that. I did it with my first born and when the sister came, we are on a schedule, I sleep train my children, no I don’t go the cry it out route but my kids put themselves to sleep, in fact, they don’t know how to be rocked to sleep.

I get inbox messages all the time from moms asking me to help them with sleep training, or with a working schedule because they are exhausted from waking up at night for over 2 years. I am exhausted and my babies sleep through the night, well Maya has done so for almost 7 weeks now, so I can only imagine what a mother of a 2 year old who hasn’t been sleeping through the night feels. As amazing and fulfilling as motherhood is, and trust me I love being a mom, I also acknowledge that it is hard, it can be exhausting, it is often a tired mom with a full heart.

Yes that is why I schedule my babies, because I know I don’t have strength and grace to entertain a little human being into the wee hours of the morning when she or he can actually be asleep. Don’t get me wrong, scheduling is hard! The having to teach a little human how to sleep when you yourself needs sleep and at the same time make sure that they feel love and protection, takes months of hard work, but it is always worth it.

I get links from mothers who think I shouldn’t schedule my baby, I respect their opinion, but for all the mothers who want to, please schedule away, I am #squad.

Not just scheduling, the diversity that comes with motherhood always backs us up to the corner of judgement, if she doesn’t parent like me then she is parenting all wrong.

I have found that the fact that I am vocal about my parenting style, I meet with friends and when I ask about their babies, even random questions as how old is she now? The first thing they do is defend their parenting style.

“I tried scheduling but it just didn’t work for us, so she is 1 year 3 months and still wakes up at night”

“ I know I need to get him off the diapers, he is 2 years 5 months”

“Imagine we are still mashing her food, she turns 1 in 2 weeks”

“We should move him from our room, he is 2 years in a month and a half”

Just because I parent different than you doesn’t make your parenting wrong, if whatever you are doing is sustainable and doesn’t put you or your child in danger, please parent away your way.

We are different, we will always be different and our difference should bring in a new dynamic to our sisterhood, it should not divide us or tear us apart, it should now make us feel better than or worse than. Our difference is our strength, I should be proud that we are not all the same, strive to learn from those whom I feel have it figured out and not replicate it but tailor make it for my household.

Happy Parenting





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