New mum? Relax, No Pressure
You know online can be the worst place to prepare you for motherhood, damn! You want that perfect nursery, those cute booties that are crocheted and look edible, that new-born photo-shoot that brings out angel wings in your baby. That peaceful look on the baby that makes you think bliss… You have a check list of all the important things, then you realise everything is important, yes even the mat in her room, the wall décor in her room even though she will not see colour until she is about 3-4 months. Please feel no pressure, but that alone makes you feel like there is pressure to be felt.
Forget the advice ‘sleep when baby sleeps’ try sleep when baby is awake, it’s a motherhood win, you wake up like a champion. You almost want to do a boo hoo at them because you slept and they were awake, coz usually it is the other way round. Sleep when she is awake? How? It’s called accepting help, feed her then ask your extra hands (nanny) to hold her for a while as you take a shower and let them know that if she sleeps it just fine, finish taking your shower and without telling anyone, enter bed. Those 45 minutes will get you super charged.- Appreciate that in Kenya, nannies are not as expensive
If I could get a dollar for every time I get asked are you still breastfeeding? And I beam so brightly with a yes on my lips, then almost inevitably is the, exclusively? That follows that question and my light is quickly snuffed out. No, I have had to substitute with formula lately. Then the why? You don’t have enough milk? Have you tried moringa and dill and hibiscus tea? Are you stressed? Ama she is a big baby and you can’t meet her demand? There is expectation on you, try your best, but don’t break your back to please society, who don’t even know the cost of diapers.
I remember a friend saying she took her baby to hospital because the baby was crying. She could not understand why a baby can cry for 2 hours. Then because of the car ride to the hospital, the baby was rocked and soothed and she slept, but there is no way she was not going to have baby checked, so at 11:30pm, she enters the doctor’s office with a sleeping baby to say that she has been crying for the past 2 hours, for the last 3 days. As the words came from her mouth, she realised how stupid that concern was, esp with a sleeping baby in her hands. “I wondered what the doctor would do, take her from me for the next 3 days and check on her? Breastfeed her? “ So after spending 1,800/= on consultation, she walked out with advice on how to manage colic, something she already knew.
Your baby will give you glorious days, there are times she will sleep so well at night it will almost scare you, you will wake up to just confirm she is breathing, then you will feel stupid because you have just interrupted your sleep and it could be the one time in the last 3 months you have slept for 6 continuous hours. Then there will be days when she just blows the hell roof up with her screams and those are the nights you will sleep for 1.5 hours intervals and wonder if morning will ever reach, only for her to black out at 7am.
Enjoy the good days
Survive the bad
They grow out of them.
Before you give birth, you really know a lot about parenting, motherhood, you have your shit together. Then the babies come and you realise, the practical is not as easy as the theory, tired is never equals to sleep in baby world. Read up but don’t get stuck up like those choppie students in high school who knew everything by the book, you are not dealing with a mathematical equation that can only add up to one answer, they are complex, so complex that most of their answers are ‘none of the above’
For my preggo friends, we have a Project Baby Shower event coming up on October 1st, come lets build our community of motherhood.
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