Mummy knows best doesn’t mean Daddy knows nothing

 



African American father looking at newborn baby --- Image by © Terry Vine/Blend Images/Corbis

Like most mums, I have been hoarding our son, even after a couple of post about how other people can take care of you child as well and that people are not out to harm your baby, I have found myself consumed with fear of leaving him behind. In fact I find that when I am leaving him with his dad, I want to call every so often to find out if they are fine, I want to hurry back home. It is his dad who reminds me that its okay, he will take care of him, he will wash him and put him to bed, he will feed him and play with him, he will follow the routine. I never imagine they will manage or cope for more than 2 hours without me.

Needless to say I have gone for 3 days and left him with his dad, I came back and he was safe, no weight loss, no burns, not out of schedule, still playful. And so I have concluded that I am the problem, I hoard my son. I have done this since he was a baby, times his dad would offer to wash him and I would stand there just looking to see how he did it, when he woke up in the middle of the night to burp him or offered to bottle feed him I was up sitting watching him.

Information is nothing if you do nothing with it and so I am changing, I am drilling the lessons over and over again in my mummy skull that other people especially his dad are not out to harm my child and that they will take care of him. As long as I have left him with those who love him, I can rest assured that he will be fine.

black-father-child

Lately I have been very busy and since our househelp comes and goes every day, one of us has to be home by 5:30 PM. Daddy has been the early bird to take over baby and boy isn’t he doing a great job. Hence the reason I am realizing I was hoarding our son. He is confidenter* word changed to suit my vocabulary, before he would wake up and run into our room, lately he will go and sit with blankie. He would shout even when talking on phone MAMA I MITH YOU, I LOVE YOU MMMMWA ,now its MAMA I miTH you I love you MMMMMwa… He listens better to instructions whereas I would tell him 20 times, no, it has reduced to about 2 maybe 3.

I wish I started teaching myself from when he was born to take time out, take 30 minutes and walk, clear your mind, enjoy motherhood and cherish the process, the person I was becoming besides being a mummy. I wish when he was a lil bit older and could bottle feed I could have learn to take more time to myself and rejuvenate, not because I never cared for him but because taking care of myself is a part of taking care of my baby, because when post partum depression hit it hit hard.

Take time out, take care of yourself, just because mummy knows best doesn’t mean daddy knows nothing, you will be shocked at how much they step up to the place when you let them and stop hoarding. If you are a single mum and working, it doesn’t mean your baby is your clutch bag all weekend, you still need time to yourself besides work, ask your family to take baby for a day as you recharge. Other people can take care of your baby too.

As part of helping mums learn how to take time out, we are planning MAMA’S BREAK, A Mother’s Day event on May 9th… see you there spaces are running out for those who haven’t yet registered.

Mama's Break





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