Letter from a first time mum-2

 



first_time_mom

If you have not read the first letter here goes

Over dressing under dressing, how do I know how much clothing to put on my baby? This was a big one and sometimes I have found myself adding another layer of clothing just to have peace with everyone else. Mostly the rule of thumb is, just one extra layer than what you as an adult are wearing. Some say if his feet are cold, if his ears are cold. Well I have cold feet and it takes me ages to warm them, sometimes I wake up at 2am and they are still frozen despite the fact that I have socks on. So to this one, dear first time mum, use your discretion, if you think baby needs and extra blankie then go ahead and add it. So funny because my baby had never woken up coz he was cold but a couple of times he has woken up coz he was too hot, how do I know, I removed one blankie, put him back and he just slept.

One day as I was leaving the hospital with my 6 month son, late in the evening, a lady walked up to me and told me, ‘wewe mama funika kichwa ya mtoto anaskia baridi’ mother cover the baby’s head, he must be feeling cold. I was taken a back because my baby was 6 months and the doctor had just given me a clean bill of health, we had never had a cold and so if I was doing something wrong surely 6 months was long enough to cause the damage. My son cannot stand having his head covered, quit judging saying that I am the mother I should make sure he has one on, I guess if it is not a death or life issue, so I let him have it his way.

I remember being asked why I wasn’t using a baby walker and my 8-month-old son was showing all the signs of wanting to walk. I had done my own research and was not keen on using one as it had more cons than pros. So when my son started walking on his own at 9 months 6 days, I was so glad I never listened to the use-a-baby-walker voices. Some of the things I did to aid him walk, I rarely used socks especially in the house and so he got a good feel and grip of the floor. I was never terrified when he fell on his bum trying to walk, relaxed mum relaxed baby.

Food, I am even wondering if I should add this here, this is a major one and can never be generalised. To be honest, I never took any mother’s advice on this. There is this website I check ( www.wholesomebabyfood.momtastic.com )and if I am not sure I call my pead. When to introduce foods is as varied as every mother you know. However mashing food can be universal, I blended my baby’s food for 1 month and when he turned 7 months, I started mashing using a folk, by 9 months, we just made sure the food was soft enough and it made life easier. Blending your baby’s food till they turn 2 is extreme. Well to add to your options, this is what I didhttps://newordinary.wordpress.com/baby-food-and-care/basic-baby-menu/

Oh dear, this is a weighty issue, trying to lose that baby weight, I was totally worried that I will never go back to my size 8 after adding 25+ kgs during pregnancy and going up to size 14. When baby came, I was more worried about making sure that baby had breastfed and was fine I ate anything that I was advised would help produce milk. 6 months later, I had 17kgs to lose and since baby was on solids, I could start exercising, to be honest, I don know why this point it here but the fact that I struggled with it as a first time mum makes it valid. Well, don stress over weight and don let anyone push you, when baby turns 6 months you can start working out, it eventually goes if you keep at it mine went, 2 kgs to go.

I remember when baby was 3 weeks, I was holding him in a sitting position as I instructed my housie on what to do. After I was done, she told me that in their culture, the baby is never put in a sitting position before they turn 4 months. That was a bit shocking. Well at four months, my baby had been sitting without support for over a month. He could support his neck from the time he was about 6 weeks. I was shocked to see a group of women advising a fellow mother to wait till baby was 5 months to put her in a sitting position. Dear first time mum, be wary of where you ask for advice because if ill advised, you will be alone.

Washing baby everyday or not, to be honest, I never thought this would be a point of discussion. I know mothers who swear by wash baby three to four times a week. I washed my baby every day at the same time. I created a routine for him and to date he knows, shower milk sleep is how his evening goes. I read in some page that the reason why you should not wash you baby everyday is because they need the germs, seriously, I took my baby out in the sun and took walks with him, I guess those were enough germs and the best I could do was wash him in the evening so he sleeps clean and fresh, ready for new germs the next day. There are times we have skipped the birth but it was not because of the germs theory.

  • A child is raised by a village. Everyone will give a new mum parenting advice. It is all so confusing. I remember the nurse in the hospital telling us to put the baby to sleep on her side and yet experts and research has shown that putting the baby on the back is the best when it comes to preventing SIDs.

    I find that even today I’m still defending my parenting choices to people I don’t even know. Like you have just said, follow your instincts and do what feels right for your baby. That is my advice to new moms.





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