I earned my Stripes, Weight & Title
I have just finished a 30-minute workout session with Shaun T, yeap T25 as he calls it (this was at 6:30 in the morning). Just a couple of weeks ago is when I decided to do some workout to at least get rid of my post pregnancy belly, I am not soo keen on losing the weight, I like my curves, my hips and ass are welcomed for sure. This is 1 year 2 months after giving birth to little miss spring.
Yesterday I read a response from Brenda Wairimu to Pulse Magazine after they had pointed out how she had lost her post-pregnancy weight much to her fan’s relief, as they were afraid she would get lost in ‘motherhood’. What they did not know was her mother passed away just 4 months after she ‘Brenda’, gave birth. Naturally, the stress and pressure of motherhood are enough then add on to it losing your dear mom. The Same article had shamed Pierra for her post pregnancy weight. I have just written that intro and I have so much going on in my mind I am trying to figure out where my response will start.
She earned her stripes goddamnit! the moment you become a mother, you earn a title, you carried that baby for 9 goddamn months and you just partnered with God to create a miracle. We earn the stripes, the stretch marks, the weight, and the title.
I feel sad at how society ‘who is this sorry ass society anyway!’ has made us believe that we should wipe every trace of motherhood on our bodies apart from the child we brought forth, we are expected to lose that weight as fast as possible, if you lost any due to sickness during the pregnancy you are to gain it so you can go back to ‘yourself’, the stomach needs to spring back to normal, your boobs should not look like they have breastfed a human being, who breastfeeds in public, you are to show us your lovely charming baby and go to the toilet to feed them.
You know all the things that say if you are not the way we knew you then you have lost yourself in motherhood, you don’t hang out with your friends every weekend till morning, you have changed! you call home all the time, you have changed! you cancel because an emergency happened at home, you have changed. Of course, we will change, we just participated in creating a miracle, a blessing not everyone gets to say they did, intentionally or not. We earned our stripes, our weight and our title.
Pierra, the pressure to this mom as expected by ‘society’ might not be as much as yours, just because of your spot in the limelight, but from a mother to another, you cannot erase the physical change that comes with motherhood no matter how much you try, if you had a CS, you literary lay down your life for your child, you have a scar to show for it, if it was a normal birth, you pushed life out into this world, you breastfed and even if you didn’t, you were up most nights making sure baby was fed, you will forever be a mother, no matter how hard society expects you to go back to ‘the Pierra’ they knew, you will cancel because your baby needs you. A stretch mark here and there will forever remind you and like some of us, our earned curves and ass will always remind us.
So to hell with their expectations, because you never know what someone is going through to either add or lose the baby weight? Postpartum depression for some comes through not eating at all, you end up having to supplement with formula because your milk just runs dry, for others you exert yourself so much at succeeding in being a mom if eating is what will give you milk then it’s welcome and so the weight piles on. ‘Society do you even know what postpartum depression is! As you are busy placing expectations on new moms to be what you see in your head.’ Please read that with a scream.
There is one of the support groups from the Project Baby Shower event that we hold that just never keeps quiet, these mothers talk all the time, all our babies are either 1 or are about to turn 1 as conversation has been going on, we have realised that there is a phase where mothers are just lost in the new role, it was about bottles and milk and baby and colour of poop and then as the babies grew older, the conversation changed to work-out, when can we hang out, new clothes, my hair, can we go dancing. We all naturally moved from 1000% baby care to other conversations that involved us, it’s a natural progression.
Dear new mom, embrace your stripes, your weight and the new title, you earned it!
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