CS mum and proud
Very few mothers get pregnant and plan to have a C-section, the decision for some is reached along the way as they monitor the development of the baby and for others different reasons, medical or otherwise have them make up their mind before they go to the delivery room that they will have a C-section. However, there is quite a number of others who absolutely do not plan for it and when we get to the hospital, it is not called an elective CS but Emergency CS. Some of the ECS get to labour then are wheeled to the theatre while others going on their normal business go for a medical check-up and are told to go into theatre. The life of the baby and mother are often the determinants to this call by most practitioners though we have heard of some who prefer CS on their patients because it means more money.
I was an ECS case. My baby was due November 21 but came 2 weeks later, the doctor had told me that if by December 1 he had not come then, I should go for an induction. In those 10 overdue days, I walked and swam and took the stairs, anything that would make labour start all on its own. But it never did and I checked myself into hospital, from research, I knew most inductions last for a few hours before baby comes and so I was prepared for a short and painful as hell labour. 21 hours later I was in pain but no baby in sight.
This article is however, not about my labour but the emotions that most ECS mothers go through. No we do not think that we are lesser mothers or that we love our babies any less, in fact, we understand how precious they are that they could not push their way out but had to be special delivered. We appreciate that our baby finally made it and that makes them very special to us.
As a mother who laboured and had to go for an ECS, I have in the past wondered if I was so weak that I could not bare labour, I know I did my best, the 21 hours of labour were something else, but I wondered if there was something I could have done before to avoid the theatre.
We worry about the possibility of ever giving birth ‘normal’ not that CS is abnormal, but just wanting to experience what should be so natural for women crosses our minds every now and then and I know if you are like me, you have searched countless times about VBACs (Virginal Birth After C-section).
We worry about the judgemental eyes and comments that mothers toss around that are demeaning and disheartening. That though with their mouth they are saying ‘it is more important that baby and mum are well,’ they are holding back ‘so how comes you went for CS?’ Some even have the audacity to question our ability to love our children.
If you are the first one in your family to have a CS, you wonderer if you are the weakest link, if maybe you should have pushed yourself to have a normal birth. The ‘sorries’ and ‘don’t worries’ sometimes make you feel worse than better and you almost do not want to be visited. You want to push yourself to get back to health as soon as possible, sometimes even faster than a ‘normal’ delivery mum just to prove that you are also strong.
We need not to prove anything to world, ‘are we good mothers?’ is what should consume our minds and not ‘did I labour?. If anyone judges you by how you gave birth, judge them by how good a mother they are because that is what matters most. God created doctors for a reason but He never favoured any woman with more motherhood abilities so how about we play from the same field and take our scores from there.
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