Letter From A First Time Mum


first time mum

I have the best intentions for my baby, trust me, I would die before I let anything happen to him, I love him so much, so that when he is crying I feel it physically, my body tightens, my pelvic bone cringes, I love this boy, a lot.

So in my quest to make sure that nothing happens to him, intentional or otherwise, I have found myself asking many people questions about parenting, I have researched and when I could not find answers on the internet or fellow women, I called the paediatrician, the dermatologist, the gynaecologist, the obstetrician, I called them all, I even called the emergency room once, when he fell.

When baby came, I was told by the nurse that I can dip him in water, when I asked fellow mums, I was advised otherwise, I was told that the stamp would not heal as fast, I thought my baby would have an infection because I had dipped him in water with an unhealed stamp, well it fell off on day 6 and his cord is perfect. I guess my nurse was right; thank God I followed her advice.

My baby used to writhe but never really cried, I went to the mums again, I was told to give infacol/bonisan/gripe water I did, it helped a little. Then they said I eliminate milk, njahi, meat, peas, fermented porridge, the list was almost endless, this left me with only water, rice and the list ended, I called the paediatrician, she said I could eat what I wanted and just massage the baby and make sure he burped after feeding. He was ok after that (I know there are people who actually eliminate food and it works, it just never worked for me)

I wondered if I should share a bed with my baby or put him in his own bed in our room or in his own room and bed.Some said that bed sharing was not right but I should share a room so I can listen to him at night. Others said I should put him in my bed, they even said that the baby is small for a while and will soon grow out of our bed. They even said that they love their babies and so choose to share a bed. I love my baby; I quit my job to be a stay-at-home-mum because of love. I however, do not believe that because I did not share a bed with my baby means I do not love him. Well I did not put him in our bed, I slept with my ears wide open, I am glad I didn’t because he has learnt to sleep through the night and to be honest, I can count those sleepless nights on one hand.

My baby had eczema; my already thinly advised diet was chopped some more by the advice I got. I was also told to use bar soap for his clothes, it worked but his legs and hands still looked like dried steak, use raw shea butter, use coconut oil, use extra virgin olive oil, use arimis, use sunlight soap, use forever living soap and cream, use Vaseline, use aqueous cream, use liquid paraffin. I used all those products but they never worked, I went to the dermatologist and her prescription worked like a charm. I should have gone to see her sooner.

Which diapers should I use? Do I really need to list all the diaper brands?

Wipes or water and cotton wool? I went with water and cotton wool at home and wipes when we travelled, I love the way I have saved a couple of coins from that choice.

Exclusive Breastfeeding or substitute with formula. I exclusively breastfed for six months and I am glad I did, I felt like super mum. At the end of the journey, my baby was scavenging, (he added 500 grams in 12 weeks) my breastmilk had dried up and so I introduced formula for one of the feeds, by 9 months there was nothing coming out and baby was now on formula, am I disappointed I did not breastfeed baby till two years, no, I beat my chest in pride that I managed to do it exclusively for 6 months. However long you do it, be proud you gave it your all. My baby is healthy…

Part 2 coming up

Happy Parenting first time mum =)


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